Soo I have spending these past few days around the house basically doing nothing. I was told not to lift anything heavy and to rest as much as possible to let my heart and the entry point heal.

Doing nothing you realize there are so many things you miss doing. But as time goes on I gingerly start to do things again. 

We finally got the Christmas decorations off the front door and the tree came down. We still have the ornaments in their bags but I have to wait another couple of days to go get the tubs for them. Then maybe we can be normal again, at least as close to normal as we can.

I will try to post here as much as possible. I know I have time but the writing in me does not have the same appeal as it used to be. I want to write, I feel I need to write, but like a lot of things, I have lost interest. Writing on this blog may help me get back into the groove.

Outside the snow is still there, the cold will not let it melt. The look of winter is beautiful to some but all I see is cold and snow and ice. I am so looking forward to warmer temps again. I hate having to put on boots and coats and gloves and a hat just to go to the grocery store for a couple of items. The store is right behind where I live but I still take the van rather than walk. Too much ice and snow makes the walk dangerous.

Well off for now now. If something else exciting happens, I will be sure to let you know.

A new year...a new me...sort of

 Well, here it is, a new year. I look outside at the snow and I fell the cold. It seems just like last year. Of course, I know there is something different.

It started three days before Christmas. I was feeling sick and I had to visit the porcelain god to throw up into. I never made it, I passed out in front of it. Smashed the bathroom waste basket. Flat. It was made of wire so it didn't take much weight to smash it. I awoke wondering what had happened. I decided it was the medicine I was taking and not eating. I went back to bed and tried to fall back asleep.

A couple of hours (?) later I had the feeling coming on again. Again I didn't make it to the toilet. I collapsed along side of it. My wife heard me making a noise so she witnessed my falling and hitting my head on the cabinet. She said I was out for a few seconds. She called 911. I first refused saying I was okay but as I thought about my falling not once but twice, I told her to have them come.

The EMTs arrived, helped me to the gurney and took me to the hospital ER. My wife cannot drive so she could not follow me but the medical staff said they would keep her informed of my condition. The nurses and the doctor thought, like I, that the passing out was a symptom of my medicine. Their mind changed when a passed out again. While I was on the ER bed. When I awoke, they said that I was non-responsive for 23 seconds. They had to use emergency procedures to get my heart started again. I awoke with my bed surrounded by nurses and doctors, all discussing what had happened. The next 24 hrs was filled with tests of every kind. A heart specialist was called in to assess the results. I was transferred to ICU were I could be watched until a treatment could be decided on.

Finally they reached a decision. The lower half of my heart was stopping which also stopped the blood flow to my brain, which is why I passed out. I literally died for 23 seconds. The cardiologist decided on a pacemaker implant.

Years ago, pacemakers were large, cigarette pack sized devices that were implanted in the shoulder area of the body and had leads connecting the device to the heart. Now the devices are much smaller. It is about the size of a small caliber bullet or a large vitamin capsule, whichever you can imagine. They go through the groin area, through an artery, and place the device directly into the bottom of the heart. You cannot see it and the only wound is the insert point in the groin. It is totally computerized and I am told the battery lasts for about ten years.

So here I am, alive, in a new year, with a new part added to keep me alive. Watch out Skynet, here I come.

 Once you reach the upper years like me, you begin to look back at all that you have seen or done or said. You can also count the number of loved ones you have lost. When you lose someone, you always have that one person who says "at least you will have memories".

In a way I hate that phrase. Not because it's true but to me I would rather have that person than a memory.

I realized then that my memories are just a list of what I have lost. Sometimes I can bring up a memory from by mind and remember the person, how they sounded, even how I felt when around that person.

Sometimes it is not a person in my memory banks, but an event that occured in my life. Like when I was inducted into the Army. I remember the nervousness I felt and how those drill instructors did everything they could to get rid of that nervous feeling and replace it with confidence. I remember how I felt after a 10-mile hike, wearing 40pounds of gear on my back. How I couldn't wait to lie on my bunk and finally rest, only to be shaken off by the DI just a few moments later.

Life seems to be like that no matter where or at what age you are. You get to know someone then in the blink of an eye they are gone. You barely have time to decide whether you like them or not. To some people it is like that when they get a new job. They are hired, then trained to do whatever is asked of them, then they get so proficient that they train others, then it's over. They are replaced by someone younger or smarter, or by the boss's nephew. After 20 years of service, they get replaced by a high school graduate who doesn't even know how to drive. Such is life.

I worked for many years then when I turned 62, I wanted to find out what the retirement life was all about. At age 63, I was ready to go back to work.

Many have told me to enjoy retirement, go places, see the world. Well, it takes money to see the world and I have just enough money to see the world if it involved going from my living room to my bedroom. With a lay-over in my bathroom for a little while.

 Today is March 18, 2022 and in Sept of this year I will be turning 72. The years are creeping up on me but I don't feel like an old man. I still have energy and my mind is well, somewhat sharp. Like a dinner knife, you know the one you use to spread butter on your toast. Works good if the butter is soft.

I tried to do this blog thing before but with life getting in the way, I let it slip by. In 2020, the world was inflicted with a virus which caused a pandemic. Thousands died and to this day, the effects are still being felt.

During the pandemic many of us were in lockdown. That means we were not allowed to go anywhere. They called it social distancing. So we stayed home and did what we could to survive. Things are slowly getting back to normal, well, as normal as it could be with a war going on.

As for me, I finally got back into writing. I enjoyed the time I spent creating and writing stories and poetry. I did not put myself into one genre as I read everything that's out there. So I wrote the stories, mystery, drama, and comedy and put them into a book. Publishing it was a pure excitement. I had been a success merely by publishing my first book. It is titled Its A Family Tradition. I wanted people to read it but if they didn't, I still considered it a success.

I didn't stop there. I compiled all of my poetry into another book. I called it A Spirit of Humanity. Then I began to think of what the other seniors were doing while cooped up in their homes. Where I live, many of my neighbors loved doing the crossword puzzles in the newspaper. I also knew there were so many different kinds of puzzles so...I created my own puzzles and put them in a book. I called it the Baby Boomers Big Book of Brain Bafflers. Inside I also put a new kind of puzzle I call Ponder Puzzles. They take a weird mind to solve. Hey, it took a weird mind to create them.

The for the ladies, men too if they feel so inclined, a journal. It asks the important questions you might need to answer or want to question. Cue in soft music and a smooth glass of wine.

In keeping with the population, I wrote a mystery. Set in the area where I once lived, it tells how a death affects a family. It's titled The Sadness of Bridge Morgan.

I keep writing, as you might have noticed. I will add to this blog as the days progress. Keep you up to date on my authorship and maybe include an excerpt or two from my books. I call them excerpts but you might refer to them as cheap advertising.

So in the end, the book you read, is equal to the love you give. Salute'