Okay we made through August. When we mved to Louisiana we were told, watch out for August. It's the hottest month of the year. Well, it was. But we made it through, and we are enjoying the cooler temps. If you can call 80 or 90 cooler temps.

As far as my days are, I seem to be doing the same routine. Wait, isn't that what routine means? Doing the same thing over and over. I try to don something else to shake it up, to add some excitement. Working on this blog, for instance. Keeps me writing and keeps my fingers nimble.

    I don't type like a good secretary does, I use only two fingers per hand. But fast. Like using a touch keyboard. I remember where the keys are so hitting them seems to be easy for me.

Have you ever seen one of those puzzles where they have a screen full of a single number like 33 and somewhere on that screen is the number 39. Find it. I love those. I usually get it in the first couple of seconds. Then my wife will ask me where the mate to her socks is and I spend the next hour and half looking for it. Good news, I do find it. Most of the time.

As the days get cooler, we will venture out more. See more. Do more. Can't sit behind the desk all day. I save that for the evening, when the sun has gone down, and the tv is off, and quiet permeates the house. The only sound you will hear is the pecking of the computer keys.

I want to tell you about Papaw's Place. A rundown, rusting old building out in the middle of nowhere. Outside, you're afraid to go in, but if you do, your  eyes are met with the most beautiful and colorful interior you have ever seen. Add to that the smells of freshly baked bread  and the sounds of music coming from an old neon lit jukebox. It's like being transported back to the fifties, where girls wear poodle skirts and the guys have leather jackets and greasy hair. Papaw used to say if he ever ran out of lard, he could use some of their hair grease. Now that's a gross thought.

What special about the diner is not so much the food and atmosphere, but the physical building itself. You see, it has always been a mystery to anyone who lived in the area., that no one remembers when it was never there. Like it has always been in existence and it will always be there. It looks like it may fall down at any moment but truth is, it won't. Papaw says it won't.

That's another thing. Papaw. He looks to be around 65 years old but to everyone's recollection, he has always been the owner. And cook. He has been there since the diner was built and it doesn't seem like he will never leave. I have wondered myself where he came from.

 In Oct of last year we decided to move south. Over a period of 12 years we struggled through cold winters and snow depths which covered our vehicle and ourselves. We lived through the storms, and the tornados and the below zero temperatures. Last year we had temps of 30 to 40 below zero. On top of that, I had my heart failure. I was unable to clear the snow from our car and the ground around our home. So we decided to move to a warmer climate. We picked Louisiana because my wife's sister used to live in the area we were going to. She told us about the area and how it was when she lived there.

Well, times have changed it. We wanted warm weather and it seems mother nature got our order wrong. We asked for warm and we got hot. Very hot. I like my food hot but outside temps, not so much. The humidity made it much worse. If you had someone pour a pitcher of warm water over you as you walked to your car door, that is Louisiana.

 The one thing I do remember about living in the south is the way you are treated. People say yes and no sir. People hold doors for each other and say thank you a lot. Friendliness is everywhere. Our car was overheating on the freeway and when the people in the car behind us saw it they pulled up behind us on the shoulder. It was a young couple, in a new car. He said his momma told him to help whenever help was needed. He found the problem, a radiator hose had busted. He followed us to the next exit, then right into an auto parts store where he got the hose needed and fix our car right in the parking lot. Don't ever say bad things about young people. There are many who are just like him. My wife slipped his wife a $20 bill and told them to have lunch on us. He didn't want to take it but after talking to the wife, he said okay.

We had to go through a lot of changes moving here. Including paperwork. It took time to change our driver's license and change our health insurance. But after jumping through all the hoops, we are officially Louisiana residents. The heat? Well, you get used to it. And I won't have to shovel snow this winter.

This is something I wrote years ago but found it appropriate for now....

I come to a door

I feel jumpy

I go through

I feel brave

I come to another door

I feel frightened

I go through

I feel strong

I come to another door

I feel lost

I go through

I feel mature

I come to another door

I feel hysterical

I go through

I feel in control

I come to another door

I feel crazy

I refuse to go through

These doors are killing me

 Today was a typical day. Doctor visit and going to the post office. The heat was still turned up outside. It was another day of above 100 temp. I am so looking forward to a nice cool breeze.

 Thing is, we moved down here to be in the warmer weather. We just could not live in a nother winter of below zero temps. And with my heart the way it is, I could not shovel that snow anymore. So we moved to Louisiana.

It was in October so we came to cool weather and beautiful skies. While the temps back at our old home dropped every day and snow came in. We went from 6 months of winter to three months of mother nature turning her oven up. It was hot in June and July but when August hit, it was HOT. The heat index made it hotter and the humidity made us sweat like water being poured over our backs as we walked from the door to the car. Then the unspeakable happened. Our car's a/c broke and the only cool air we got was when I drove with the windows down. My dad would all that Down-40 A/C. Driving with the windows down at 40mph.

Got some good news. We have a granddaughter who lives up in Minnesota and shehas two sets of twins. Both sets are boys. Well, a friend who works for a movie producer told her they were filming in a town close by and they were looking for twins to portray the children of the lead stars. After seeing the twins, they accepted them. One set of twins are less than 1 year old and the others are 7 so they both get to be in the film. 

    Mama told them they were just like grandpa, that's me. I too was in a movie back in the early 80s. With Mel Gibson and Sissy Spacek. This was back in his days right after Mad Max. It was a movie called The River. It was fun to be in, a lot of work though. I might bring that movie up on my computer to watch again. It's been awhile.

I told you about excerpts from my books, well here is one from my book, Sadness of Bridge Morgan. It takes place in the same town were my daughter and granddaughter live. Not a true story.

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Bridge Morgan was a big man. Six foot six at least and two hundred eighty pounds. All muscle. A giant of a man, broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip, like the old Jimmy Dean song says. He was a man that could hold a bale of hay on each of his shoulders while running to catch a calf that had escaped from its pen. Bridge was indeed a powerful man but also a gentle man. He was a hard worker who never caused anyone any trouble, in fact, everyone in town always had good words to say about him. Whenever he came to town, he always had a smile on his face.

Today that smile was not there. I saw him as he walked into the Spring Valley police station. He was not smiling, in fact he had the look of a man who was burdened with a terrible load on those broad shoulders. A load that must be thrust off or it would destroy him.

My name is James Bradley Foxx. Everyone around here just calls me JB. I am a deputy with the Fillmore County Sheriff's office.

The county supplies deputies to take care of any issues that may came up in the towns that did not the budget to have their own police force. All the deputies in the county have done duty in Spring Valley at one time or another, today just happened to be my time. Spring Valley is set deep in the fields of southern Minnesota. It is called a bedroom town where fifty percent of the population works up in the big city and the other fifty percent are farmers. Bridge Morgan is one of those farmers.

“Morning, deputy.” He was one of the people who always called me JB. Why was today different?

“Morning, Bridge. Why the long face this morning? You look like you lost your best cow.”

My little attempt at humor went by without reply. He seemed like he didn’t want to face me, his head hung down. In a quiet but serious tone he spoke.

“No, no, I have something more hurtful than that to tell you. Actually it’s more of a confession really.” I tried to look into his eyes but he kept his head down looking at the floor.

Never seeing a smile told me that what he was about to say could bring the man to tears, only, I’ve never seen this man cry about anything.

He raised his head and looked me straight in the eye, and I could see the wetness in his eyes.

“I want to confess to a murder. I..I killed Eric. This morning I killed my son.”

 I have been inspired to start again. I have been reading blogs by others and stories written by old friends. I went into old posts on old websites and found that maybe I wasn't so bad after all. Life does get in the way of doing something you have been wanting to do for a long time but if I struggle then it must be for a good reason.

During the pandemic I wrote a lot and had put together a book of my writings. I wrote poetry, and short stories, and short essays but I also created a puzzle book. I was very proud of myself because I had finally accomplished something. The first book had a lot of errors and the story was not very adventurous but it contained recipes given to me by my mother. She is gone now but I have the recipes to help remember her by, 

Hopefully as time went on, I improved in my writing. In fact I know there is a lot to improve on. There maybe some issues with what I have written but I consider the books as bad pennys. There may be mistakes made in the manufacture of the pennys but over time they become worth more than what they were meant for.

These are the books I have published for now. I hope to continue my writing and will fill another picture with more books. If you want to read any of them feel free to order them from Amazon. The first book I mentioned is not in the picture. It's called "A Family Tradition". Starting tomorrow I will post an excerpt from one of my books. I may also add a story I have written lately. 

Drop a line to me at hmartin1505@gmail.com if you want to comment. If you don't like what I write then let me know. At least then I will know you have read it.

Soo I have spending these past few days around the house basically doing nothing. I was told not to lift anything heavy and to rest as much as possible to let my heart and the entry point heal.

Doing nothing you realize there are so many things you miss doing. But as time goes on I gingerly start to do things again. 

We finally got the Christmas decorations off the front door and the tree came down. We still have the ornaments in their bags but I have to wait another couple of days to go get the tubs for them. Then maybe we can be normal again, at least as close to normal as we can.

I will try to post here as much as possible. I know I have time but the writing in me does not have the same appeal as it used to be. I want to write, I feel I need to write, but like a lot of things, I have lost interest. Writing on this blog may help me get back into the groove.

Outside the snow is still there, the cold will not let it melt. The look of winter is beautiful to some but all I see is cold and snow and ice. I am so looking forward to warmer temps again. I hate having to put on boots and coats and gloves and a hat just to go to the grocery store for a couple of items. The store is right behind where I live but I still take the van rather than walk. Too much ice and snow makes the walk dangerous.

Well off for now now. If something else exciting happens, I will be sure to let you know.

A new year...a new me...sort of

 Well, here it is, a new year. I look outside at the snow and I fell the cold. It seems just like last year. Of course, I know there is something different.

It started three days before Christmas. I was feeling sick and I had to visit the porcelain god to throw up into. I never made it, I passed out in front of it. Smashed the bathroom waste basket. Flat. It was made of wire so it didn't take much weight to smash it. I awoke wondering what had happened. I decided it was the medicine I was taking and not eating. I went back to bed and tried to fall back asleep.

A couple of hours (?) later I had the feeling coming on again. Again I didn't make it to the toilet. I collapsed along side of it. My wife heard me making a noise so she witnessed my falling and hitting my head on the cabinet. She said I was out for a few seconds. She called 911. I first refused saying I was okay but as I thought about my falling not once but twice, I told her to have them come.

The EMTs arrived, helped me to the gurney and took me to the hospital ER. My wife cannot drive so she could not follow me but the medical staff said they would keep her informed of my condition. The nurses and the doctor thought, like I, that the passing out was a symptom of my medicine. Their mind changed when a passed out again. While I was on the ER bed. When I awoke, they said that I was non-responsive for 23 seconds. They had to use emergency procedures to get my heart started again. I awoke with my bed surrounded by nurses and doctors, all discussing what had happened. The next 24 hrs was filled with tests of every kind. A heart specialist was called in to assess the results. I was transferred to ICU were I could be watched until a treatment could be decided on.

Finally they reached a decision. The lower half of my heart was stopping which also stopped the blood flow to my brain, which is why I passed out. I literally died for 23 seconds. The cardiologist decided on a pacemaker implant.

Years ago, pacemakers were large, cigarette pack sized devices that were implanted in the shoulder area of the body and had leads connecting the device to the heart. Now the devices are much smaller. It is about the size of a small caliber bullet or a large vitamin capsule, whichever you can imagine. They go through the groin area, through an artery, and place the device directly into the bottom of the heart. You cannot see it and the only wound is the insert point in the groin. It is totally computerized and I am told the battery lasts for about ten years.

So here I am, alive, in a new year, with a new part added to keep me alive. Watch out Skynet, here I come.

 Once you reach the upper years like me, you begin to look back at all that you have seen or done or said. You can also count the number of loved ones you have lost. When you lose someone, you always have that one person who says "at least you will have memories".

In a way I hate that phrase. Not because it's true but to me I would rather have that person than a memory.

I realized then that my memories are just a list of what I have lost. Sometimes I can bring up a memory from by mind and remember the person, how they sounded, even how I felt when around that person.

Sometimes it is not a person in my memory banks, but an event that occured in my life. Like when I was inducted into the Army. I remember the nervousness I felt and how those drill instructors did everything they could to get rid of that nervous feeling and replace it with confidence. I remember how I felt after a 10-mile hike, wearing 40pounds of gear on my back. How I couldn't wait to lie on my bunk and finally rest, only to be shaken off by the DI just a few moments later.

Life seems to be like that no matter where or at what age you are. You get to know someone then in the blink of an eye they are gone. You barely have time to decide whether you like them or not. To some people it is like that when they get a new job. They are hired, then trained to do whatever is asked of them, then they get so proficient that they train others, then it's over. They are replaced by someone younger or smarter, or by the boss's nephew. After 20 years of service, they get replaced by a high school graduate who doesn't even know how to drive. Such is life.

I worked for many years then when I turned 62, I wanted to find out what the retirement life was all about. At age 63, I was ready to go back to work.

Many have told me to enjoy retirement, go places, see the world. Well, it takes money to see the world and I have just enough money to see the world if it involved going from my living room to my bedroom. With a lay-over in my bathroom for a little while.